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Squirrels = Bad
You think to yourself: squirrels aren't bad. They're kinda cute. Well THEY AREN'T. While some people feed their backyard squirrels w/ doughnuts and watch them get super fat, I strongly advise you not to do that. It's against nature's way. If squirrels were meant to eat doughnuts and live in houses, they'd build their own Timmy's. Squirrels are bad because:
1] You think they're chittering in their cute little squirrel language but in reality they are plotting your demise!!!! They're gonna kill you!!!!!
2] Those little holes they dig are for food storage right? WRONG. They are actually setting their land mines in place. One day when you are trimming the hedge and something horrible happens to you resulting in amputation, don't say I didn't warn you.
3] Have YOU ever seen a squirrel in Heaven? Huh? Huh? Huh? Didn't think so.
4] Squirrels are the second cousins twice removed of Satan. See above picture.
5] They are quite ugly. Again, see above picture.
6] Have YOU ever seen a squirrel do something charitable? Nope.
7] These rodents came up w/ the storylines for "Passions".
8] Unlike ants, if given the chance, a squirrel can grow into a 50 ft monster and not collapse.
9] They're watching you.....