Home  Huh?   Friends    Squirrels    Dislikes    Likes    Email    Links    Life Updates    Cause of the Week

A Little Bit Of Information On Some Rather Interesting Diseases

When I first introduced a "Disease" section, ignorant people made fun of it. They said "Ha ha ha. There is no such disease as leprosy." , "Um, botulism isn't a disease." , "Gangrene is gross, that picture was disgusting. Why do you have to be so graphic?" and "Ha ha ha. Leprosy is funny. You are funny." Well, hearing these comments made me realize how many people I have helped by broadening their horizons. I am proud to introduce a few new diseases to this section because I noticed that we all know far too much about Leprosy.

Although I no longer provide information on Leprosy, I still encourage you to call the Leprosy Mission of Canada and support one of their celebrity lepers for only pennies a day.

Anal Fissure Q & A

1) What the hell is anal fissure? That sounds pretty nasty to me...

Well, anal fissure a.k.a anal ulcer is a single shallow crack in the lining of the anus. A fissure begins just inside the anal opening and extends 1/4 to 3/4 inch along the anal wall.

2) Ewww, so how do I know if my anus is cracked?

The symptoms of this overlooked disease include: drops of blood in your shit, underwear etc; burning pain in the buttock region while doing your business; a small piece of skin hanging on your bum; and hard and infrequent poops.

3) I think I have that. Do you have a picture for me to see as a reference?

No.

Diaper Rash

1) How can I tell if I have diaper rash?

You have a rash from wearing a diaper.

2) I suffer from diaper rash and I'm sick of living in shame. What can I do?

Stop wearing diapers.

Epilepsy

1) What happens when a person has epilepsy?

They stare into space for a long time. Then they have seizures. Like Caitlin on Degrassi.

Rabies

1) What are the symptoms of someone who has contracted rabies?

Well my little ignorant friend, once you've been bitten by the rabies bug you will start to hallucinate, you lose control over your muscles and bodily functions (so basically you'll end up soiling yourself), you won't be able to think or act rationally and you'll get spasms.

2) That must suck doesn't it?

Yes. 

Retinal Detachment

1) What on this bless-ed mother earth is Retinal Detachment?

Retinal Detachment is when the Retina lifts away from the layer of blood vessels underneath it. If the retina is not attached to the blood vessels, it won't get the proper nutrients and it will die and you will go blind.

2) I have retinal detachment but I'm embarrased by it. What should I do?

Go get it reattached before you go blind. Sure you'll probably have to wear an eye patch, just like a pirate, for a while but its worth it. 

Giooenat

1) Wiwoit withioib giei hehiwoti ygei?

Whieotebe wgovnwi bihobmdo bueuyhb eh uwhw s tiehs thsien ieubee qo we uetwh bubba jello meat in a tube nose rings tattoos...

2) What's going on here? What are you doing?

Narks are funny. I like Narks. An alcoholic. Whioaegjhi dibieo bheibe bhufjw